Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Down the Rabbit Hole

This is a reminder to myself and to everyone who has moments of feeling completely hopeless. Life doesn't stop immediatly just because you are down in luck, love, and money. As much as I wish I could be part of the priveleged, or that I could wake up and everything would be in it's place, free from worry, I know that this is not reality. The most important thing to remember when you are in this situation, is not to alienate the ones who care about you and who will care for you. This is something I have to keep reminding myself of, I might just get it tattooed on the inside of my hand. Being down doesn't last forever, even though it seems like that way. I'm reading this book on buddism that talks of happiness, real happiness, and that it comes from your state of mind. To be positive and free, and carefree in thinking, everyday, even when things go wrong, which things usually do, is hard to put into practice. But if someone on this earth did it, so can i. Yeah, I've got years and years of negative thinking to erase, but I dont want to give up hope just yet. What I want, that has nothing to do with stupid money: I want Broken Fences to go places, I want to tour and meet people I admire, I want to be someone people look to for help because I know excatly where the dark is. I've been down that rabbit hole a million times, and I've stayed down there for years. There's always a door open to me to go down there, I'm aware of this. It's fighting taking those easy steps down that are the hardest. I know I'll have to fight for my whole entire life not to get trapped down there again. I feel like right now, I'm sitting on the steps, just thinking. I can see the light, but it's not mine completely yet. and if it ever will be, who knows. But at least I know it's there. That's what I want to make other people realize. You can be in the dark, but not with the door closed. I still have the key to lock the door and not go outside, but even in this moment when I feel like I'm falling, I still want to walk outside. I hope my music can bring that message to a million others. That's all I want.

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